Is knowing really half of the battle?
by admin on Oct.16, 2011, under Weekly Posts
Not always.
I struggle with depression. I suffer through my depression.
I didn’t always know it, but I always knew the signs of it. We’ve all seen the commercials…
“Depression hurts everyone.”
But, me depressed? I never thought I was or ever would be.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, symptoms of depression may include the following:
- difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
- fatigue and decreased energy
- feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness
- feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
- insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
- irritability, restlessness
- loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex
- overeating or appetite loss
- persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment
- persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” feelings
- thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts
I have had all of those symptoms, but I didn’t realize I was depressed until someone told me that thinking thoughts about why I would never commit suicide are thoughts of suicide. In fact, after seeing that I was depressed during that season of my life, I realized I had been depressed for years.
I am good at pretending. I am great at being fabulous when I am at my lowest. I am put together on the outside when I am falling apart on the inside.
I isolate. And when I am forced to be around people, I act.
BUT, I KNOW THE SIGNS.
Is that enough? Is that really fighting half of my battle?
I need others to know the signs. I need others to be invested in me, so when they see me isolate or I appear to be extraordinarily great, they know something is terribly wrong. I can go weeks, sometimes months, knowing I am depressed and need to get some help, but without someone holding me accountable and caring I just isolate more and become a better actor.
I need to invest in others.
Invest in people around you. Know them…REALLY get to know them. Speak up when you think something is wrong.
Knowing the signs means nothing unless you are being aware of them.
And the only way to be aware of changes in someone you know, is to actually know them.
Past and Present Celebrity Addiction – Is it our future too?
by admin on Jul.24, 2011, under Weekly Posts
Young. Talented. Addicted. Dead.
Yesterday was a sad day for fans of music, entertainment and Amy Winehouse. Winehouse, 27, was found dead in her home. The cause of death has not been released, but it is no secret that she struggled for many years with drug addiction. In fact, one of her most popular and well-known hits is a song called “Rehab.” The chorus sings:
“They tried to make me to go to rehab, but I said no, no, no.”
She is not the first young celebrity to publicly struggle with addiction or possibly die from it. Here’s just a small list from The Canyon of celebrities who have dies of an overdose or from something drug-related:
- Marilyn Monroe – Her death, due to an overdose of sleeping pills, was ruled as a “possible” suicide.
- John Belushi – Died in 1982 after injecting a speedball – a mixture of cocaine and heroin.
- River Phoenix – Died of a heroin overdose while in the presence of his younger brother Joaquim in front of the trendy Viper Room.
- Heath Ledger – Died of an accidental prescription pill overdose.
- Christopher Pettiet – You know him as Zach the budding chef in “Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead”. He died of an accidental overdose in 2000.
- Mary Anissa Jones – Better known as Buffy from “Family Affair”. Drugs found in her system at the time of her death include Seconal, PCP, methaqualone and cocaine.
- Lani O’Grady – You remember her as the brainy and practical Mary on “Eight is Enough”, Lani died in 2001 at the age of 46 of “drug intoxication.” Found in her system at the time of her death were Vicodin and Prozac.
- Chris Farley – Overdosed in 1997 after taking a speedball.
- Judy Garland – Died in 1969 of an overdose of barbiturates.
- Anna Nicole Smith – Died in 2007 of “combined drug intoxication.”
- Elvis Presley – Found dead in his bathroom in 1977 after overdosing on prescription drugs.
- Rodney Harvey – On the verge of being taken very seriously as an actor, Harvey died of a heroin overdose in 1998.
- Nick Adams – Died of a drug overdose in 1968.
- Nick Cantor – The Dirty Dancing actor died after injecting a shot of pure heroin in 1991. He was
- Montgomery Clift – Died in 1966 at the age of 45 – the combined effects of drugs and alcohol.
- Dorothy Dandridge – Died at age 46 of an antidepressant overdose.
- W.C. Fields – Died as the result of a shot liver due to excessive alcohol abuse.
- Robert Pastorelli – The Murphy Brown actor died of a drug overdose in 2004 at the age of 50.
- Dana Plato – Died of a drug overdose in 1999 after taking Vicodin and Vanadam.
- Edie Sedgwick – Died in 1971 after mixing alcohol and barbiturates.
- Brad Renfro – Died of a heroin overdose in 2008.
Recently, a large number of celebrities have publicly entered treatment for drug and alocohol addiction including:
Lindsey Lohan
Eminem
Nichole Richie
Kelly Osborne
Ben Affleck
Haley Joel Osment
Winona Ryder
Brittany Spears
Drew Barrymore
Mel Gibson
Charlie Sheen
Samuel L Jackson
Robin Williams
Celebrities with addiction is not new news. It has been Hollywood’s past and present, but is it our future as well? How do we help? How do we create awareness of the issue and change the environment in which it occurs? Can we?
The steering wheel of life
by admin on Jul.02, 2011, under Weekly Posts
Today, a conversation changed my life. Someone else’s choices have directly effected me. I am not sure if it is good or bad yet, but it has me thinking about the amount of control I want to have over my life and the reality of how little control I really have.
Do you try to control your path in life or do you just let things happen? How do you find balance?
Kicking and Screaming
by admin on Jun.16, 2011, under Weekly Posts
Sometimes I know I don’t know I need to change. I just don’t see it.
Then, there are other times when I see it. It is a flashy billboard that I can’t miss, though it’s not very pretty.
Whether it be a character flaw, bad habit, addiction or attitude, I usually don’t want to make the change right away.
Ok – who am I kidding???
I go down kicking and screaming.
I resist until there is not another option, but to to make the change.
Not exactly mature. Not exactly healthy.
Honest though.
Can you relate?
Testimony can help.
Do you WANT to get better?
by admin on May.29, 2011, under Weekly Posts
Do you WANT to get better?
It is one of the most honest, dangerous and life-changing questions you can ask yourself.
Our first answer is “yes.” Of course. I mean, doesn’t everyone want to be better? I don’t like my addiction. I don’t like yelling and always getting angry. I don’t like to throw up my meals. I don’t like to cheat on my wife. I don’t like to gamble my paycheck away. I don’t like to gossip. I don’t like needles. I don’t like being hung over. I don’t like to hold grudges. I don’t like to being overweight. I don’t like hiding the credit cards bills. I don’t like covering my scars. I don’t like my life.
Do the work. Step out of your comfort zone. Endure the withdraw. Feel the hurts. Experience the roller coaster emotions. Gain the pounds to be healthy. Diet and exercise to lose the weight. Admit your mistakes. Make amends. Forgive. Accept your past. Stop living in denial. Repay your debts. Stop living above your means. Learn to love yourself. Learn to love others.
REALLY? Do you REALLY want to get better?
Your second answer is what makes this a dangerous question. If your answer is really “no,” you are in a dangerous place and are going down a dangerous path to destruction. If we are really honest, aren’t there some unhealthy things in all of our lives that we aren’t ready to let go of? How much are we willing to sacrifice to step into the unknown and live a more fulfilling life for ourselves and those in our lives?
You don’t have to do it alone. You don’t have to know how to start. There are people and places that will help you from start to finish and Testimony is one of them. We will walk along side you every step of the way. You don’t have to be better to start. We want to meet you right where you are. We want to help you expose what is hurting you and those you love. We want to help you live a better life starting today.
Purposeful Accident
by admin on May.21, 2011, under Weekly Posts
I met another sleep-deprived mom playing referee to her kids at the park a few days ago. While our conversation lasted 30 minutes, in between stopping our aspiring superheroes from testing their super-flying powers and wanna-be pointy-stick jousting pirates from stabbing each other, we only learned each others names, kids’ names and kids ages. Finally, our kids found that digging for treasure in the sandbox could be just as fun as trying to jump to the moon off of the swings, and we were able to relax and enjoy each others’ company for a little while.
Meeting new people can be intimidating, especially when the person seems to have their life together and you feel as if yours is falling apart. Anyone in any social, business or religious setting can put on a mask of perfection to hide their personal struggles. I have found that meeting other parents at the park can be 50/50 – masquerade or authenticity. Luckily for me this day, she was as open about her life as I was.
I found out that, like me, she was a single mom of two boys, trying to be the best mom and financial provider for her kids as she possibly could. We shared similar struggles going through an unwanted divorce and having to function as both parents. We cry about the same things, we get angry over similar frustrations and we question our decisions and future. It was if we were meant to meet, yet it was only by accident – or possible coincidence – that we ended up at that park, at that time and on that day.
Like I said, I was lucky to meet someone who would be open about their struggles with me, but not everyone is ready to share their life with a stranger. Before meeting my new mommy-pal, my tears were cried alone, my frustrations were stuffed deep inside of me and I felt that there was no end to my struggles. Perfect-looking parents and perfect-acting kids surrounded me daily at the park, on TV and even my friends status’ and photos on Facebook. I just “knew” I was the only one who felt like she was drowning, yet I felt like I sometimes had to pretend I knew how to swim.
It turned out to be a “purposeful accident.”
Testimony believes in the power of sharing your story, whether it be to encourage someone who is going down the life path you have already traveled or to walk alongside someone who is in the midst of your same struggles. There are many ways your story can be used to, not only change, but save someones life. Testimony exists to help you use your story for a purpose. We join two people together in what we call a “purposeful accident.” With the consent of both people, we will connect you with someone who has a similar story, shares your struggles and has healed from their past wounds. Where you take the relationship from there is your choice, but will can assure you that you are not alone and there are people waiting to share their stories with you to help you write yours. Please contact us if you are interested in sharing your story or being a part of a “purposeful accident.”
You Just Don’t Understand
by admin on May.11, 2011, under Weekly Posts
Another post from our spectacular PR Intern:
“I understand”… “I feel your pain”… “I know how you feel.”
Sound familiar? How many times have you heard this or even said this to someone? What about,
“you don’t understand”… “you don’t know what I’m going through”?
Truth is, you may not be able to relate to someone’s situation, but what you can relate to is pain. In one way or another just about everyone has experienced some kind of pain in their lives. Encouraging, isn’t it? Because how often do we feel inadequate to help or encourage someone who is experiencing trauma beyond what we’ve faced? And even worse, for the person struggling… to go through their pain thinking they are alone in it all, and no one in their lives knows what it’s like. That’s a lie and believing this lie of loneliness will only draw you into an even darker place. So pick your head up my dear and realize you are NOT alone! Our pain will bring us together because we are all broken, hurting beings. Our walks on life’s path are different; some of us are going through a painful storm right now while others have made it to the other side. Whichever it is, instead of trying to push each other away because of a lack of understanding, try to remember the understanding comes from the experience of pain.
The Root Of It
by admin on May.04, 2011, under Weekly Posts
Special guest post by our PR intern.
“I haven’t had a single urge to drink in the past week, because I’m finally not just “not drinking”, but I’m actually trying to do things to make my entire life the best I can both mentally and physically,” said a blogger on soberrecovery.com.
What a mindset! This man is changing his whole life instead of focusing on the one problem, drinking. Sometimes it’s not the drinking, or the actual addiction itself that needs to be addressed, rather it’s the root of the problem. Why do we need to harm our bodies, what is causing us so much emotional stress that we need to reach out to negative alternatives to cope?
It’s like a beautiful garden infested with weeds. If we simply cut the weeds on the surface, we are just eliminating the problem temporarily. Often the only way to really clean the garden is to dig deep and pull the weeds from the root. In the same way for some addictions, we need to dig deep and explore the root of our unhealthy habits. If only addressing those deep issues was as easy as pulling roots out of the ground. If we are just giving up the habit, and like the blogger said, just not doing it, then we will eventually relapse.
The true road to recovery can appear when we take the time to face those hard deep issues and work through each of them slowly. Then we begin to understand and tackle the obstacles that hinder us from being who we are meant to be, whether it’s family issues, abandonment, insecurity, childhood trauma, etc. I know doing this can be difficult, and finding the place to even start can be an obstacle in itself, but one place you could start is getting REAL help. Many times we are either so caught up in blaming everything and anyone else, we can’t see our role in the problem, or we have burnt ourselves out trying to find what the root is.
Whichever it is, sometimes having an outside perspective, particularly a professional one, can help make the reality much clearer. Recovery is not easy and you will face many challenges… but anything worth having in life is worth working for, especially if it’s your life.
Testimony is a safe place for you to get that help. We can create a custom outpatient program that will encompass your mind, body and spirit into true recovery.
Me, My Busy Lifestyle and I
by admin on May.02, 2011, under Weekly Posts
“I lost my keys in the great unknown
And call me please ‘Cuz I can’t find my phone”
Francesca Battistelli/This Is The Stuff
Scottish researchers to seek cure for forgetfulness
Scottish academics have launched a study in a bid to find a cure for forgetfulness.
Doctors at CPS Research said people were becoming increasingly forgetful as a result of modern hectic lifestyles and “information overload”.
The condition is known in the medical world as subjective cognitive impairment (SCI).
They hope to investigate whether it could be treated with a low dose of the Alzheimer’s disease drug, memantine.
The Glasgow-based researchers have labelled the condition “Busy Lifestyle Syndrome”, saying forgetfulness can be caused by a hectic lifestyle and constantly being bombarded with information from mobile phones, blackberries, television, radio and the internet.
Dr Alan Wade, of CPS Research, said: “Forgetfulness is an ordinary part of getting older, but anecdotal evidence suggests that it is now affecting people earlier in life as a result of busy work and home lives and so-called ‘information overload’ from the various media channels we consume today.
“What we are referring to should not be confused with the serious memory loss that is often associated with early onset dementia.”
He added: “This study is aimed at those who are constantly losing their keys, forgetting people’s names or misplacing their glasses rather than anything more serious.”
The CPS Research study will look into wider use of the drug memantine which is routinely prescribed for people living with Alzheimer’s disease. It is hoped that smaller doses of the drug could help combat SCI.
CPS are seeking people across the country aged between 50 and 80, who have found themselves becoming more forgetful, to take part in a series of memory tests.
It is okay to be lost
by admin on Apr.19, 2011, under Weekly Posts
A wise man once told me that it was ok to be lost.
Whether it is because we have taken wrong turns and made poor choices or we did not know how to navigate through the different terrain, we sometimes find ourselves lost in life. It is not a comfortable place. In fact, it can be frightening and paralyzing. When faced with something uncomfortable, it is usually our first reaction to find anything to make us comfortable again. The most common choices seem to be asking someone for directions or going our own way until we find the right path.
Asking someone for directions can sometimes lead you further down a path that you do not want to go down. Often people’s advice and direction comes from their own experience, opinion and preference without knowing where you have already been. Finding our way on our own, well let’s face it, got us lost in the first place. Often searching for the right path on our own leads to wandering aimlessly and taking more steps backwards than we do forwards.
Have you ever gotten lost in a town and found the best burger you have ever tasted? Or have you taken a wrong turn and found a view of the sunset that would have normally been blocked by the mountains? Often we miss some beautiful and life changing experiences by trying to find our way without stopping to see where we are. Staying lost for too long and never getting back on the path is not the answer, but next time you find yourself lost, spend some time taking in the experiences and feelings you would not have experienced otherwise.